Lord the One You Love is Sick by Kasey Thornton

Author:Kasey Thornton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: IG Publishing
Published: 2020-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

Today everyone had ants in their pants after recess and Ms. Atkins yelled at Cole Tanner to sit down and shut up. When people yell I get sweaty and sometimes I pee my pants a little even if they’re not mad at me. My body can get scared of a thing even when my brain isn’t scared of it at all and that is what I hate most about myself. My heart feels like a bird slamming into a window trying to get out even though I am cool as a cucumber. I raise my hand and say “May I go see Mrs. Weston?” like I am supposed to and Ms. Atkins tells me to take the hall pass and go.

Mrs. Weston is my guidance counselor. She’s got big hair like Dolly Parton and no lips. Her husband is Austin who owns the grill in town and if I go there and tell him I didn’t get any lunch he’ll give me a grilled cheese that is dripping with butter and that is my favorite. I think he probably knows I always get lunch but he gives me one anyway with this sad look on his face that a lot of people give me before they’re about to do something special for me. I like when people are sad for me and I like being in the hallway during class when I am the only one there and everyone else is trapped in their rooms doing flashcards or popcorn reading or multiplications. I feel like I am at a zoo watching the animals but I can do what I please. Wolves are my favorite animals because they can live in families but they can survive on their own if they are strong enough.

The guidance office is yellow with chairs and a couch. There are paintings on the wall of flowers and fields with flowers in them and flowers in vases and people holding flowers and there are fresh flowers on the desk and on all the tables in the waiting area and it all reminds me of the funeral of the boy who died from his needles years ago. There’s a fish tank bubbling in the corner making a nice sound that would put me to sleep if I had time to lay down.

Mrs. Weston pokes her Dolly Parton head out of her office and by now I am not sweating and my heart is quiet but I don’t want to tell her because she will make me go back to class. I have been seeing her since Abigail backhanded me at home and I got the bruise on my face and Ms. Atkins told the office that I was at risk.

Mrs. Weston holds up a laminated poster with a bunch of faces on it. She asks me how I’m feeling today and I point to the one with the angry eyes. She asks me what I’m angry about and I say that Ms. Atkins yelled at Cole Tanner.

“Do you think Cole Tanner deserved to be yelled at?”

“He’s a shit,” I say.

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